overthinking the idiot box

May 16, 2005

Haiku About LOST

by the SMRT-TV Staff

Sure, you could write essays and essays about this season's most intriguing new show. But what could you say within the space of seventeen syllables? The SMRT-TV Staff rose to the challenge, crafting verse that truly captures the oddity and the hilarity that is Lost.

Joel Bergen:
Missing: The monster,
Polar bears and Alias'
"Previously on"

Kyle Buchanan:
Thank you, LOST, for this:
I'm not scared of plane crashes
When hunks are on board

Mike Celestino:
Hey, Terry O'Quinn!
And Merry, for that matter.
Maybe I should watch.

Andreanna Ditton:
Pasts like a whiteboard
Will you keep on keepin' on?
Hot without hairgel?

Elana Frink:
Monster in jungle?
Mysterious, yes. But who
Does Kate's sculpted brows?

Richard Jeter:
Missed the first three shows
Then tried to watch the fourth one
Now I, too, am lost.

D. Roberts Keenan:
No one believes me
That all the islanders died
Purgatory sucks

Erin O'Brien:
Boone sure is pretty
Not his creepy character
Still, too bad he died

Katherine Ross:
Sand, palm trees, salt tide
Sun high and yellow, warming
What's hot is the cast

Frank Smith:
We mourn, Agent Weiss,
The death of your pilot twin,
Even if Vaughn can't.

Doug Spice:
LOST, do I miss you?
We parted ways four months ago
But eh, life goes on.

Jeff Stone:
These 'Lost' folks are jerks
Their pregnant friend goes missing
They don't even search

Joelle Tjahjadi:
Yes, Shannon, shoot Locke
Revenge is yours for now 'til
You have to hunt boar

Alison Veneto:
I know these actors
From other shows they were on
I call them old names.

Justin Winters:
Jack's a huge asshole
Someone punch him in the mouth
Who's the doctor now?

Discuss this article (and post your own haiku) in the SMRT-TV forum.

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