SMRT-TV: At the Buzzer

December 19, 2005

Everything you ever wanted to know about sports on TV.

At The Buzzer
College Bowl Season: Meaningless
by Alan Bloom

College Football's holiday bowl season is upon us. As they do every year, ESPN is promoting their coverage of "Bowl Week" with the famous jingle, "It's the most wonderful time of the year." Well, you know what, people? It's not. It is not! If it were, then that would imply that every single one of those games carry some relevance — that winning the GMAC Bowl will have an impact on the national championship picture. After all, you play to win. Well, I take that back. Try this one: Only two teams out of 119 Division I-A programs are afforded the chance to win.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some not-so-shocking news to report: College Football is broken. There is no other sport in the world (at the very least, in America) where a definitive playoff pairing down the top teams, culminating in the penultimate championship game between the two remaining sides does not exist. The Bowl Championship Series, known as the BCS (and perhaps better represented as the "B[C]S") is a sham. If you've been living under a rock since 1998, the B[C]S is a convoluted formula factoring in polls from the media and coaches, computer-rated strength of schedules, and a hand full of independent rankings — basically doing everything possible to avoid head-to-head competition — that by season's end determines who the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the nation are. Often times, the process is riddled with problems and brings a whole new level of understatement to the phrase "inexact science."

#3 in the B[C]S, #1 in our hearts.

The lowest of examples that can be pointed to when crying for the blood of the B[C]S are in 2001 when Nebraska, despite finishing third in the Big XII conference and not even playing in the conference championship game, was determined to be the number two team in college football. Third in the conference, yet second in the country? Any person with an IQ above 12 should be having an aneurism just trying to comprehend that. Nebraska was embarrassed in that year's Rose Bowl and proved that they didn't even deserve a sniff at the national title. Again in 2003, Oklahoma failed to win its conference championship (also the Big XII), yet still was rated #2 by the computers and awarded a spot in the Sugar Bowl where they lost the national title to LSU. To add further controversy to this season, the University of Southern California, unbeaten, was ranked #1 in both "human" polls — the AP and the Coaches. After USC won the Rose Bowl, the Associated Press made a statement, standing up to the computers that will eventually become self-aware a la Terminator 2, and crowned USC their national champions, thus creating a shared title.

Again, the B[C]S should've combusted that day, as its sole purpose was to determine a singular, undisputed champion. But, as so often happens when opting for the easy way out, it failed. Again. Rewind to 2004 when USC, Oklahoma, and Auburn all finished the season undefeated. Only two can play in the Orange Bowl for the national championship. Auburn, whose remarkable accomplishment entitled them to a better fate, was dealt the short straw and had to settle for the meaningless Sugar Bowl. And don't even mention Utah to B[C]S honks. The Utes also went undefeated last season and earned a spot in last year's Fiesta Bowl (also meaningless), but were never even considered for the title game by virtue of not being part of one of the six major football conferences who cooked up this hair-brained system in the first place. Hardly a problem Utah could do anything about.

Let me ask those conferences this: How much interest in the Outback Bowl or the Meineke Car Care Bowl, or the MPC Computers Bowl would there be if they actually meant something? If the winners of those games actually had a reason beyond pride to win?

That's three times in four seasons that the national championship of college football was anything but undisputed. Division I-AA has a playoff system. Hell, pee-wee and pop warner have a playoff system! But not Division I-A. The commissioners of the big six conferences responsible for this pathetic joke (Big East, ACC, SEC, Big Ten, Big XII, Pac 10) are concerned that a playoff system would result in less revenue. Money. Let me ask those conferences this: How much interest in the Outback Bowl or the Meineke Car Care Bowl, or the MPC Computers Bowl would there be if they actually meant something? If the winners of those games actually had a reason beyond pride to win? To care? The answer cannot be calculated in mere dollars and cents if only because nobody can count that high.

Fortunately, this season the cookie crumbled in the B[C]S' favor and we have a dream Rose Bowl match-up between USC and Texas, two teams on a collision course for Pasadena since the beginning of the season, with the national title at stake. Even the staunchest of B[C]S nay-sayers (myself included) will clam up and enjoy what should be an absolute firecraker of a game. Everyone should be watching this one. It. Will. Be. Electric.

However...

There are twenty-eight — 28! — bowl games this season. That means 56 out of 119 — just about half of I-A — will be playing in a bowl game. Of those fifty-six, thirteen have a record of 6-5. Finishing the season one game above .500 is no reason to celebrate and certainly doesn't warrant a reward. What we are being force-fed during bowl week is mediocrity dressed up as something special. In effect, these are exhibition games and the only people that care are the fans of the two universities playing and degenerate gamblers hoping to bounce back on their second mortgage, maybe pick up some extra cash for alimony.

It is firmly established that the only game of any consequence this season is the one taking place on January 4th between the Trojans and Longhorns. The two weeks leading up to that giant showdown? It's just masturbation.

It is firmly established that the only game of any consequence this season is the one taking place on January 4th between the Trojans and Longhorns. The two weeks leading up to that giant showdown? It's just masturbation. Why should I or anyone else invest time in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl or the Champs Sports Bowl, or the San Diego County Credit Union Poinesettia Bowl (I swear, I'm not making this up!) or any other corporate piece of crap bowl out there? College basketball thrives during March Madness where not only does every game count, but the two finalists are determined by play on the court. Not by computers. Wouldn't it be heaven if their gridiron counterparts took after that model? Invite the top sixteen teams in the country (all conference winners and a selection of second place teams. Remember, basketball's field of 65 is also largely determined by invitation) and have a damn playoff already! You'll have no controversy, you'll have no anger, and you will — contrary to idiotic opinion — have something to show for your regular season efforts. Ask Auburn how much they'd like a playoff system. Just ask them.

This mockery kicks off on December 20th when powerhouses Southern Mississippi and Arkansas State (both 6-5, by the way) slug it out in the oh-so-important New Orleans Bowl. Sigh... Hey, root for your alma mater. That's fine. Have friends over and cheer for Big U to bump their record to 7-5 in a meaningless exhibition game. You support that team already — I understand that. There's already an emotional investment there. But for every other game, do yourself a favor and change the channel. Read a book, take up dirt bike racing, learn to play piano, do anything else. Because supporting these corporate exhibition games only hurts the sport of college football. You don't want to hate college football, do you?

Discuss this article in the SMRT-TV forum, or email the author.

Return to Season 2, Episode 7.